gum-flappers, UNITE

ah live journal. I forgot you again. You are like the man-whore I come to when I am bored to death with myspace and facebook. I should really be studying....

How come everyone I end up hiring to assist me at my school somehow alludes me, and makes me believe that they are NOT a smelly, self richeous asshole bleeding heart liberal with lentil breath? Really? Cant they just come in with there tie-dye flag a flappin' for there interviews, and then I wont be so caught off guard when they refuse to wipe the tables down with anything other than simple green, and maybe I can avoid another lecture on the various ways that using paper towels at snack time, as apposed to actual place mats, aids in the slow destruction of the enviroment as a whole. If I have to smell your nasty burlap sweater dress washed every three weeks in earth friendly detergent, then you will have to tough out the " splitting migrane" you may or may not get due to the "excessive" use of "chemical cleansers" ............. Im sorry, but have you ever tried to wipe of shit smears with simple green? Stick to what you know, what makes for the best compost and how to always smell like a back alley. Shut your vegan piehole and mop up the fucking piss in the bathroom. The fucking 409 is kept in the utility closet. If the bottle is running low, we have three gallon costco refills backstocked in the shed. Deal with it. stop complaining before I shit all over you siliac friendly vegan cupcakes!!!!!!!!!!

What is one food that you refuse to try? Why?


Yeah. Vagina. I think the answer is obvious. I am so not into clearish white slime that smells like pike place market on a stifling sunday. Besides, I was never a fan of dark and warm.

I'm back and ready to ramble incohernatly about nothing in particular.

dust of your fucking pom-poms!

Two of my favorite people are coming into town this weekend. Baby steph Bannick, the little bannick. Flat chested but just as fierce. And then there is Rockin Rio "tred softly like a panda" richards. You all had better brace yourself cause all of us together plus some ( like adam "blinded by the gay" tandy, and Kathy "the lonely city pigeon" pants) is sure to make the world fall in on itself. Trust me. You dont know, but you will. When someone says the sky is falling and you see ciggerette butts, patent leather stillettos and chicken cutlet fake tits, winthrop hooves and Cold DC'c falling from the sky, you will know I wasnt fucking lying

Is it bad that all I have to say when a sweet girl at a party gets a concusions is "uhhhhhhhh.....GAWD!!!! CANT WE JUST FUCKING DANCE!!?!?" I really hate when I dont have at least one persons undevided attention, I suppose this makes me a little self-involved.

and jesus. How many fucking bulldykes live in Bellingham? Like, five hundred? And why do they all shop at eddie bauer and REI and the tommy hillfiger outlet store? If I were to see another lesbian in jesus sandals, I might vomit.

" hit me with your cumshot.........FIRRRRE AWAY!!!"

Ew. Mercer Island is Hidie! Everywhere I go I see the saggy thigh skin of some walking/rotting eighty-nine year old grandma ( or grandpa for that matter) in spandex bike shorts huffing and puffing there way up every incline. They congregate like wrinkled asians, sporting there death palors like mercer island highschool girls sport fake tans. Everytime I go to Tullys, wich is almost everyday lately ( I know, fuck establishment coffee houses blahfuckingblah...but I work on Mercer Island now, people. Everything is the same and its either tullys of starbucks, so fuck off) Every chair is craddling the gargantuian ass of some slothlike grandpa, and they are all talking about there twenty person "ride" through northern california, or how cute mary-anne so and so's riding outfit is, and they all walk like hunch backs from stooping over there handle bars all day long. And they sometimes almost mow me down as Im walking to the bus stop. Once, one of them (an older lady with purplish silver hair and bow legs and varicose vains so vicious they looked like they had been painted on with the same blue eyeliner she used to rim her eyes) crashed into a teenage boy on a skateboard and I have to admit I launched into utter hysterics, laughing till I almost fell over myself. It was hysterical!!! What is NOT hysterical is the way these oldies think that they can take over the sidewalks and every sqaure inch of floor space inside every public place on the island. What is NOT hysterical is the fact that I am late to work almost every morning because the bus is stalled by some decrepid raisin of an old man is trying to hoist his bike off of the rack at the front of the bus. It IS NOT cute. Stop trying to be healthy ok. Stop.

So, I am trying to dig my toes into the sand, so to speak. Only the sand is livejournal and my toes are the various braincells that I am attempting to emmerse into this seemingly endless void were my impression leads me to belive is a place for people to just TALKTALKTALKTALKTALKTALKTALKTALKTALKTALKTALK.

Keep flappin yer gums even if nobodies listening.